Since you asked...

Dear Miss Gribble,

I have recently moved into a brownstone. It is lovely except for my next door neighbours. They have annoying behaviours such as parking in such a way that puts the rest of us, who walk, at a disadvantage. They drive their motorized bicycles late at night, filling our homes with exhaust and noise when we are attempting to sleep, and they leave on bright lights for nights on end, which lights up my bedroom window and is annoying.

The other neighbours have adjusted to this pair’s limit bending. I seem to be the neighbour most affected by their behaviours. Is there anything I can do? I'm about ready to lose my mind, it just isn’t fair.

Ready to Blow and Go

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Dear Ready to Blow and Go,

Now you know why the brownstone next to these people was empty. If the police are not able to back you and your neighbours are technically with in the laws of the city,  I don’t think you have much of a leg to stand on.

I would buy a room-blackening shade and attractive drapes for my bedroom to block the light and I would stop expecting these people to behave differently. They are arrogant and self centered and they will not change. So, don’t get yourself wrapped up in waiting for them to change and expecting them to do the right thing. They won’t.

Wait until the property appreciates enough, then sell and move.

Miss Gribble

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Dear Miss Gribble,

I always give a lot to my relationships, my husband, family members, and friends. I am starting to resent this because I don’t get much back. I hardly ever get what I really want.  What should I do?

Match – Set

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Dear Match- Set,

Everyone should have boundaries. Relationships are like tennis, you volley, and you get a volley back. Sometimes you volley two or three times, but there should be equal generosity in the returns.

When you lose your boundaries, you get forgotten, put-upon, and used; even well meaning people tend to push the boundaries of others as far as possible. I also think that some people choose to let themselves be mistreated or have their needs ignored.  One should always ask for what one wants. No one reads minds.

There are people and times you won’t get an obvious return, of course: babies, children and teens, the elderly and severely disabled. In these cases, your responsibility towards them is primary and the returns come in different forms.

Miss Gribble

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Dear Miss Gribble,

How can you tell love is real?

Looking for Love

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Dear Looking for Love,

Love doesn't only dance the night away. Real love commits forever. Real love cleans up Looks for you in a crowd, and doesn’t notice that you're fat and your shoes are old. Real love cries when you're hurt and rejoice with your successes. Real love is a treasure and a gift. Every day all over the world there are millions of people who have the courage to provide real love, no matter how difficult the task. They are the arms of the goodness in this world.

Miss Gribble

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Since You Asked …. If your partner  doesn’t want to be considerate, it doesn’t mean that you have to be less considerate and lower the standards